If I could Paint the Sky

The sky has so many stories to tell

So many stories to tell

Stories untold outwardly to numerous souls 

If the sky were to speak its stories would multiply and ripple through the clouds

As I look up at the sky tonight from my living room window, I am reminded of the great force of nature 

Tonight the sky speaks stories of calmness 

Tonight the clouds are aligned and not so fragmented 

Tonight the clouds are united as though aiming to protect a soul that's departed earth from breaking free

Tonight the sky holds its story internally as though it does not want to be exposed

Tonight the sky is silent 

So silent for I am unable to make out any imagery of communication lines 

Oh how I wish tonight was the night you spoke to no means end, in order to settle my turbulent soul 

For if you were to speak......I 

Now I know why the caged bird SINGS- Maya Angelou

"Never make someone a priority when all you are to them is an option.

If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude. Don't complain.

There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.

I do not trust people who don't love themselves and yet tell me, 'I love you.' There is an African saying which is: Be careful when a naked person offers you a shirt.

We delight in the beauty of the butterfly, but rarely admit the changes it has gone through to achieve that beauty.

You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them.

My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humor, and some style.

Try to be a rainbow in someone’s cloud.

I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.

I love to see a young girl go out and grab the world by the lapels. Life's a bitch. You've got to go out and kick ass.

The love of the family, the love of the person can heal. It heals the scars left by a larger society. A massive, powerful society.

Courage is the most important of all the virtues because without courage, you can't practice any other virtue consistently.

Nothing will work unless you do.

It's one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself, to forgive. Forgive everybody.

I've learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way (s)he handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights."

A truly inspirational person never does, your will and courage has multiplied trillions times over as soon as you departed. Your spirit, wisdom, character will live on. Rest in eternal peace and with the angels- Dr Maya Angelou xoxo

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Where has the Boy Child Gone- "BRING OUR GIRLS HOME"

Today I awoke to the news of the 200 girls who have been abducted against their will. Today I awoke to mothers, fathers, brothers, sisters, grandparents, uncle, aunts, friends pleading.   Today I awoke to multiple leaders, celebrities and public figures wearing signs with the statement of "Bring our Girls Back." Today I awoke to the beast and painful reality of life. I awoke wondering where has the boy child, man gone. I awoke wondering where these demonic acts have come and stemmed from? I woke up wondering what possessed a boy child, now man to commit such cruel acts to another human being, a girl child.   I woke up wondering why masked men would take pride in video taping themselves with body armour and feel proud to have abducted innocent young girls.   I am awake to the fact that the boy child's soul was once abducted and he turned his torments into cruel acts of vengeance and as an excuse to temporary cure his absurd mind. For I wondered what could forsake a human soul to harm another.  In the soul of the once boy child, dare I imagine peace in their hearts, for in order for peace to exist there would be no cruel acts. For a boy child I imagine endless torment, guilt and regret. For a boy child I pledge for you not to forget - you once belonged to a family which consisted of a mother, father, grandparents, brothers, sisters, uncle, aunts, friends who once pleaded for you and for your life.   Today I awake and plead among the masses for you to awaken to the reality that the girl child is not your enemy nor is your community your enemy.   Today, I hope is the day you wake up to the realty of you, and realise that you, only you are your own worst enemy For a boy child now a man who has awoken to themselves, would dream of only peace and in supporting their community.   Today, I hope you awake to the fact that brotherhood only exists with the support of the community and love of family and friends.  Today I hope is the day you awaken to fact that the girl child is not your enemy

In my life for over 30 years

You bathed me, clothed me and fed me. You watched me grow from a baby, little, girl, into an argumentative teen, to a lady. Then came the day, I started my new job. I walked down the street on a sunny day, full of joy and happiness. I thought of you, as I walked every foot step. I thought this would be the opportunity to call you and share the good news with you. As I got closer to the station, I visualised you and heard what your first words would sound like. You would pick up the phone, and respond in a content tone, pleased to hear my news. You would enquire about the jobs specifics in your usual way of wanting to know the details I would pick up the phone and be filled with joy As I got closer and closer to the station, I reached for my phone My hand dug deep into a deep dark hole in my coat pocket A cold chilled circled through and around me. I awoke to reality. Your soul passed months ago and you were no longer in this world. It is now two years and your 64th birthday is around the corner. I sit here thinking you were in my life for over thirty years. I still cannot fathom life without you. I ache and yearn for you endlessly. Continue to rest in peace dad Love you for life until our souls reunite

Awakening Moments

Event 1 "I feel stuck in life and do not know how to become unstuck You could plan small goals and progressively start to change your life. The thing is I actually do not want to or feel motivated to want to change anything in my life. That doesn't sound like you? I know when I am at best. When I feel good about myself, I am most likely to engage with life. I have lost the confidence within myself. I know what I need to do in order to shift things. I need an extra push and an Existentialist Therapist might just nudge me to into my own awakening I have never looked at therapy that way and always assumed if I sought therapy it would almost be like being self-indulgent. That's interesting!!! Most people do perceive therapy as a last result. For me it's a way of being. It's something that has helped me in the past to become unstuck" Event 2 "It's chilly tonight's and looks as though its going to rain. That is life, why worry about things when you can't change things. You have an optimistic view to life. I tend to not worry and take life as it comes. I ignore the news because I know most of the messages are geared to making us worry about things." Dream "I dreamt a baby died. There we were and there I was. I was a spectator at a funeral for a baby. I was there amongst many consoling a man who had lost his baby. There I was hugging him and trying to contain my own grief. I let him cry and lean on me. I rubbed his back as he sobbed like a baby. He was tall, blond and he felt like someone I knew and had been with. He wore a blue jumper and jeans. There we were, we hopped on and off a coach to the funeral and back. It was a hot summers day, the sun was shimmering. I walked hand and hand with the aggrieved man, as we got off the coach. I felt a huge burden and deep hole within me. I started to awaken the reality of my dream. The man was was my partner; my boyfriend. The baby was mine. Deep sorrow sunk in... I awoke to me, it had all been a dream. I still felt pain and sorrow in my awaken state, which last till mid afternoon." Two encounters, one with a friend and one with a taxi driver plus a dream led me to engage once again with life. I felt rejuvenated yet again and time became precious and not to be wasted. The words of the a friend, " a achieve things in steps. " The words of a taxi drive, why worry about things?" The loss and death of an unborn baby, all events intertwined within my subconscious and nudged me back to life. As the paint brush struck the kitchen wall, I awoke to me and realised in that moment that certain events in life happen for a reason. These events occurred for a reason, and pushed me to awaken to me. I awoke with a new energy which shifted me to be active and engaged with life Whilst I was pealing wall paper, I started to realise, I could achieve things in small steps. I could take my time in order to achieve something greater. That I did not need money or someone else in order to achieve this task. I began to realise my inactivity and feeling sorry for myself week had not produce results. I echoed the words, I was born to an achiever. I was born to be an achiever, and will achieve Then I remembered what my parents had achieved. What was my excuse? There was none- I had to do and become. Why worry about things? The taxi drivers words stuck a cord in my heart. Why worry indeed. I believe certain things in life happen for a reason I have once again become an active participant in my own life

Preparing for my Death

Each day I live, I a step closer to death I shift my life towards progression which will eventually end in death Each day I shred a piece of my existence in order to reach a step closer to death I shred my past and my current existence in order to not burden those I will eventually leave behind As I sit here shredding old papers and what can now be symbolised as rubbish which once represent me as an individual, I shred a bit of my existence I shred a piece of me for pastures anew I have the urgency to be, to do and be something and someone today and not tomorrow Each day follows with successions of questioning whether I have achieved enough. What is enough and is there such a thing as being content with life? I am at the peak of life where questioning becomes more prevalent than ever to the point at times living comes to a standstill at its worst becomes obsolete My aims? Aiming to be and become rather than being stuck in the day to day of doing just for the sake of doing I shred a piece of me everyday and each day is a day closer to my death Only and only in reflective moments like these do I appreciate the presence of death Tomorrow I will wake up and become the norm and revert back to the doing for the sake of doing Only my conscious is still exists and is forever pushing me realise that with life comes death My conscious pushes me to realise I am not special and unique to live forever and do not hold a special entitlement The daily battle continues and I continue to embrace life for as long as I have got it I want to win me little by little each day I live

Maker of my OWN Destiny

I am the maker of my own destiny and no one else No one owes me a living Only I can determine how to succeed in life and what I wish to acquire I was not born a quitter to life, nor do I intend to start doing so Life does not beat or defeat me for I can overcome obstacles I can achieve one small thing per day and that in itself is progress rather than lying still I was born a fighter and I intend to continue doing being so Life is not and was not meant for me to feel sorry for myself I am the master of my own destiny and in the driving seat No one but me can decide which way to go I am the maker of my own destiny