Looking for a Millionaire

Woke up one day and realised an upgrade to millionaire status was a necessity. The words looking for a millionaire sprung out at me and sparkled like diamonds. I felt a jolt of meaning and possibilities in life. To many these words represent monetary value. For me, looking for a millionaire respresents Raison d'être Being or finding a millionaire represents what my life should be. I am of value and need to be valued. I realised that I needed to credit myself and acknowledge my journey of hard graft. Moreover, I needed to be more astute to not just settling with someone because they quoted the right versus, and struck a few emotional cords. I realised that I am entitled to be treated like a Queen- like Cleopatra. It dawned on me that I could choose my social environment which mirrored what I had lost. I thought of all my past auditions into schools of diplomacy and social etiquetage. Those environments had once made me, but along the way I rebelled and got lost in needing to be miss independent at no holds bar. I ran from "the expected course" in life to only be lost in daily norms with no extraordinary monentary gains. In that monement, I realised the long venture of being miss independent and rebel (with some cause) was no longer single handedly sustainable. As much as I wanted to continue on this venture the social climate of "recession" would not allow for or pay for such a cause. The tune of Miss Independent was slowly fading away in the background slowly being depleted by economic hardships. Years ago my mission and quest to address social causes on a vehicle that modelled Mother Teresa tendencies paid for itself. It felt good to work for social causes without being inflicted with financial penalties. Now the reality is not so much so the case. I among others are in a socially induced coma dripped by doses of daily news broadcast of the big bad recession. Looking for a millionaire represents an escape from a trap of social normality and numbness. Its about connecting to fully living and wading through adverse economic and social conditions. In finding a millionaire, there is some level of pampering and freedom to maximising potential. It is about acknowledging that one can no longer go at IT (making a living) alone in life. There is also a need to be rescued by a Knight - who represents what a million looks and feels like. The Knight - Mr Independent would be grounded in Nelson Mandela tendencies. A Diamond Prince immersed in wealth of niceties for social causes and not wrapped in materialism. A charming character who values the qualities of family life. My suiter would need to know that I am built of natural qualities and not suited or inclined to model in the steps of barbie. There is a need to see the world- through the eyes of a millionaire. The qualities would encompass embracing difference and learning from otherness. The eyes of a millionaire would be astute and in tune with social causes. Capturing this essence would only extend to enhancing life further. There is a need in me to take a break from social norms of daily routine and enter into unknown realms of true existence. Perhaps also a rush of mid thirties crisis for the need to actualise existence now rather later. There is some level of greed and feeling of entitlement that these qualities are needed. I am humble enough in life to not take it all for granted. Its about aquiring a level where some of my mother Teresa and Cleopatra tendencies interwine to enable me to maximise my potential, only this time around with another. All in all looking for a millionaire is about refining my abilities and recognising that I cannot go at IT alone. Its about you- the Millionaire in you- the person (Knight) and person(s)-(Social Circles), that match extradionary tendencies to achieve BEING.

My True Blood

Understand what you experience at the moment cannot be translated into fluid literature. The world will have to wait for your manuscript, for within it there is so much context and layers to unravel. Your dialogue is still too raw for the world to understand. The world and its many charactures already have a well rehearsed script. Yours is a dialect infused with complexity and too early to automatically turn into a well reharesed dialogue, which others can transcribe. Your life experiences pararell a diverse and extraodinary discourse. Your verses need to be pealed one layer at a time, in order to be transcribed. Peel them all at once then your dialogue would become incomprehensible even for you to disect Through sensations of intense feeling you at times become lost in your own complex dialect. You are one with a magnitude of force in emotional intellect; for you allow yourself to feel.

Life is a Dress Rehersal

Wake up, dress up, make up, consume, digest, disect. Until you wake up, dress up, make up, consume, digest, disect again and again Life is a dress rehersal on automatic pilot with no inner turbulence to infuse a lasting awakening spark. One stands up in order to be counted. Shows up in social circles in order to be counted and be recognised as an entity. Presents to an audience a like of thyself, but not a true representation of self all in aid of social participation and conformity. Life labours become an automic vehicle immersed in daily repertoire.

Comatose to the World

Universal dialogue has been dispersed elsewhere Lost in a complex and dark discourse The vessel is on automatic pilot There is a numbness in perception, feeling and muteness in vocal cords Transfixed in unclassified territory Daily routines discarded for the pickings of rats Dreamlike state has become mutual company Meaning shelved in the archive of life scriptures Emotions twist and switch between mutiple penetrations of nothingness Invisible in social existence without any penalties Otherness has become extinct in ones eyes