Disturbed by the violent act of men who feel its their entitlement to strip women in retaliation to their rights being opposed by government. It all does not add up somehow?????
Wednesday 18 January 2012
Thursday 5 January 2012
The Making of Me 2012 -Happy New Year Right?
Feeling awakened again following a disappearance from self, after being lost in intentional self perpetuating torture of living. I have hidden from me for the past several months, coupled with numerous non existent time consuming factors. My time has been devoted religiously to 9-5pm (add extra hours on top) caught up in the rat race. Did I win any rewards at the end of this rat race- wait for it: NO. As an observer looking into my work ethic, one would be amazed. I grafted to no mans end, as though this field had become my life's pursuit and ambition. I gave a 150% of myself.
So what was missing, in all of this dedicated to the rat race?
I lost me purposeful- reason being it was easy to hide from me. My dear friend bless him for all his attempts and sideline coaching, including endless complements of my talents. He continuously over the past year has claimed; he knows me and what I am capable of, where my true talents lie (not my current profession mind you). He believes I have a TALENT, which I can utilise. Moreover, in order for me to give up my profession and wake up to me; I need to experience another turbulent life shaking moment which will push me involuntary towards actualising my potential.
To cut a long story short, he believes I can be independent. I am independent aren't?- look at how I've progressed in my career (still hiding).
The hardest factor and challenge has been to let go, off the comfort zone. It's only this past year I have started to admit that I am good at my profession. I have admitted to achievements to a progressive career- up the professional ladder (quietly though & although exposed in this social platform).
Great as though these achievements may be, that's not me. That's not who I am or want to be. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy my job including the work environment (to clarify my team only- despise all the Senior Management politics).
The higher up I climb professionally the more I start to realise that those in suits and in high positions are pretentious and not as smart as they claim to be. Their skill are delegation and being authoritative- for most no passion or connection to good causes/or grounding lies in their foundation of the work.
As there is so much transparency now at the top for me, I have a clear mind that I do need to become an independent. I know I can do the job better, than some of the self acclaimed CEO's .
So easy right?
No?
Why?
I put so many self-made obstacles in my path. It's easy for me to imagine and dream and visualise the end goal. To make it tangible that's another matter. The biggest excuse-MONEY and luck of it. Mentally, I know it's an excuse. The reality is that yes, I do need the start-up capital.
At the moment there is nothing stopping me from being professionally independent. Or even to start making the steps to producing some work. The time I spent writing this article could have been spent reviewing my business plan.
FEAR- is a dark shadow standing beside me. At times filled with positive message of YES YOU CAN, or the majority of the time NO- no time, too tired, too busy, too overwhelming no money, what's the point.
Onwards and upwards- the shadow will slowly start to diminish. This is my first baby step.
Although the struggle with me continues, 2012 needs to be the making of me.
So what was missing, in all of this dedicated to the rat race?
I lost me purposeful- reason being it was easy to hide from me. My dear friend bless him for all his attempts and sideline coaching, including endless complements of my talents. He continuously over the past year has claimed; he knows me and what I am capable of, where my true talents lie (not my current profession mind you). He believes I have a TALENT, which I can utilise. Moreover, in order for me to give up my profession and wake up to me; I need to experience another turbulent life shaking moment which will push me involuntary towards actualising my potential.
To cut a long story short, he believes I can be independent. I am independent aren't?- look at how I've progressed in my career (still hiding).
The hardest factor and challenge has been to let go, off the comfort zone. It's only this past year I have started to admit that I am good at my profession. I have admitted to achievements to a progressive career- up the professional ladder (quietly though & although exposed in this social platform).
Great as though these achievements may be, that's not me. That's not who I am or want to be. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy my job including the work environment (to clarify my team only- despise all the Senior Management politics).
The higher up I climb professionally the more I start to realise that those in suits and in high positions are pretentious and not as smart as they claim to be. Their skill are delegation and being authoritative- for most no passion or connection to good causes/or grounding lies in their foundation of the work.
As there is so much transparency now at the top for me, I have a clear mind that I do need to become an independent. I know I can do the job better, than some of the self acclaimed CEO's .
So easy right?
No?
Why?
I put so many self-made obstacles in my path. It's easy for me to imagine and dream and visualise the end goal. To make it tangible that's another matter. The biggest excuse-MONEY and luck of it. Mentally, I know it's an excuse. The reality is that yes, I do need the start-up capital.
At the moment there is nothing stopping me from being professionally independent. Or even to start making the steps to producing some work. The time I spent writing this article could have been spent reviewing my business plan.
FEAR- is a dark shadow standing beside me. At times filled with positive message of YES YOU CAN, or the majority of the time NO- no time, too tired, too busy, too overwhelming no money, what's the point.
Onwards and upwards- the shadow will slowly start to diminish. This is my first baby step.
Although the struggle with me continues, 2012 needs to be the making of me.
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