How Do I Write A Memorial Message?

How does one even begin to write

How can I even put it into words 

How can I even consider it 

Here we are, a year on and yet it feels like yesterday 

Sat here with a notepad ... I am meant to be writing a message; a message for your memorial 

How do I write about you in the past tense 

How do I write about you only in memory 

What do I write?  For I have no words, it all feels too raw and surreal still 

It all feels like a joke, at some point now I just think someone will snap me back into reality and tell me it was all a dream 

For how can I even start to contemplate a sweet and caring angel like you, my angel not being here in this world? 

Everytime I start to scribble something my mind draws a blank 

Instead  pain creeps in, memories of you one by one flood in

My mind, my mind only re-opens yet another deep wound another window of memories of you 

See these memories of you and I were suppressed for a while,  for you were not meant to be a memory 

To visualise or think of those memories would definitely mean that more flood gates and wounds that cut deep would re-open 

How can I write about you, as a memory?  

For you were never to meant to  

You were never meant to depart 

You were never meant to die so young

I shall continue loving you still and deeply plus infinity 

CFM