Awakening Moments

Event 1 "I feel stuck in life and do not know how to become unstuck You could plan small goals and progressively start to change your life. The thing is I actually do not want to or feel motivated to want to change anything in my life. That doesn't sound like you? I know when I am at best. When I feel good about myself, I am most likely to engage with life. I have lost the confidence within myself. I know what I need to do in order to shift things. I need an extra push and an Existentialist Therapist might just nudge me to into my own awakening I have never looked at therapy that way and always assumed if I sought therapy it would almost be like being self-indulgent. That's interesting!!! Most people do perceive therapy as a last result. For me it's a way of being. It's something that has helped me in the past to become unstuck" Event 2 "It's chilly tonight's and looks as though its going to rain. That is life, why worry about things when you can't change things. You have an optimistic view to life. I tend to not worry and take life as it comes. I ignore the news because I know most of the messages are geared to making us worry about things." Dream "I dreamt a baby died. There we were and there I was. I was a spectator at a funeral for a baby. I was there amongst many consoling a man who had lost his baby. There I was hugging him and trying to contain my own grief. I let him cry and lean on me. I rubbed his back as he sobbed like a baby. He was tall, blond and he felt like someone I knew and had been with. He wore a blue jumper and jeans. There we were, we hopped on and off a coach to the funeral and back. It was a hot summers day, the sun was shimmering. I walked hand and hand with the aggrieved man, as we got off the coach. I felt a huge burden and deep hole within me. I started to awaken the reality of my dream. The man was was my partner; my boyfriend. The baby was mine. Deep sorrow sunk in... I awoke to me, it had all been a dream. I still felt pain and sorrow in my awaken state, which last till mid afternoon." Two encounters, one with a friend and one with a taxi driver plus a dream led me to engage once again with life. I felt rejuvenated yet again and time became precious and not to be wasted. The words of the a friend, " a achieve things in steps. " The words of a taxi drive, why worry about things?" The loss and death of an unborn baby, all events intertwined within my subconscious and nudged me back to life. As the paint brush struck the kitchen wall, I awoke to me and realised in that moment that certain events in life happen for a reason. These events occurred for a reason, and pushed me to awaken to me. I awoke with a new energy which shifted me to be active and engaged with life Whilst I was pealing wall paper, I started to realise, I could achieve things in small steps. I could take my time in order to achieve something greater. That I did not need money or someone else in order to achieve this task. I began to realise my inactivity and feeling sorry for myself week had not produce results. I echoed the words, I was born to an achiever. I was born to be an achiever, and will achieve Then I remembered what my parents had achieved. What was my excuse? There was none- I had to do and become. Why worry about things? The taxi drivers words stuck a cord in my heart. Why worry indeed. I believe certain things in life happen for a reason I have once again become an active participant in my own life