Friday, 17 February 2012

Death Anxiety (Europea vs African)

It appears death is following me. Possibly awakening me to another heightened  level.

I thought today, yes I've got it, a phenomena about death taboos. In reality  it not really a new phenomena, rather my own awakening.


It's become prevalent that death,has become a social norm for people especially in developing countries. As I grow older am starting to realise that death, is now becoming part of my reality. In death, there is nothing unique about emotions or a distinction in feelings.

Possibly the phenomena I am starting to appreciate is the difference in grieving processes across cultures. The distinction for me is the cross between the European and African culture grieving processes(this is the closest I can associate with having been exposed to both.


My assumption was that,  if you vocalise and are expressive emotionally during the passing of your loved one, then one's family circle becomes supportive.

On the contratary English cultures has demonstrated the grieving process for some is  can be more subdued; non emotionally expressive. This at times has to with one's social and class background.

On the otherhand, I am beginning to now understand that in some African  cultures, death is a taboo. Although most may cry the loudest during the ceremony amongst many others, in the end each individuals goes their own way and grieves secretly. Culturally  people feel uncomfortable to discuss the cause of death (rather people are left to speculate). This may be due to another social taboo, that the deceased died from a deadly disease (i.e. Aids) which is not yet fully socially accepted. Families in death congregate, yet they segregate in the supporting each other through the grieving process.


The re-occurring words are be strong, it's in Gods hands, time is a healer. This is across cultures.


The distinction is after a loved one dies the English cultures are able to discuss the deceased, celebrate their memories (i.e. joint yearly annual pub memorial gatherings), visit the deceased graveyard at free will, vocalise their emotions.

 For some African cultures there is a song and dance about visiting the graveyard, this process does not become free will. The chief or the 'man with keys to the graveyard,' dictates authoritative status of when one can visit their loved ones grave.


The Africa in you speaks out:
We are aware you are grieving, but topic of the deceased now becomes nil & void. The deceased person shall no longer be discussed in any shape form of manner.


So how can time be a healer, how can one  be strong, or accept it's in God's hand when the deceased becomes now existence in discussion following their death.


Going back to the beginning of the story- I wonder how then some African cultures now cope with death becoming the norm of daily life?

What does that do to the psyche when not much is acknowledged about the deceased or the grieving process?


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