I am Jealous of Death

I am Jealous of Death 

I am Jealous that death took you away from me

I am jealous of the fact that you are no longer here with me

I am jealous of Time for it stole you away from me

It is hard for me to say that I am jealous of the Coffin and the Earth, that now holds you much closer than I will ever be able to again 

I am jealous that I will never be able to hug, kiss or hold your hand ever again

I always thought you would come and tell me that it was all a dream 

I wished you the best each day while you were here with me and hoped you had found a bit of peace each day

All I do is cry behind my smile

I am jealous of the way the rain poured and rained on the day we said our final goodbye; for we missed the opportunity to say a peaceful goodbye

I am jealous of the thunder and lightning that took me away from you hurriedly, on the day you were buried

It is hard for me to say, I am jealous of the soil and mud that now surrounds you; for I wished I could hold you eternally

I wished you all the best that this world could ever give

I told you when you were ill, that there was nothing to forgive for all the pain that you were going through and that I would be with you forever, no matter what

I am jealous that your life was cut way too short, for we never got to rejoice your recovery,

nor will we be able to celebrate our future family events together again 

All I do is cry behind my smile

Even though the world has now become a bitter and cold place to live in, without you; I am happy that you will never see me in this eternal pain 

It is hard for me to say that I am happy that you are no longer in pain, but sad to know that it meant you had to leave me eternally

I wished you all the best this world could ever give and jealous for the day’s that I can no longer spend with you now

It is hard for me to say I wished many days that you would soon wake from deep sleep, and smile once more at me

I am jealous and angry for the fact that death won, and took you from you me, my little angel

I always thought you would grow up to be a beautiful successful woman

I wished you a bright future with a wedding day which will now never come 

I am jealous of the way that life has turned out; for the world did not have the opportunity to see your extraordinary talents 

I am jealous of the way your pure and innocent heart was taken away from this world

I am jealous that all I am left with in this moment is the deepest pain ever

It is hard for me to say, I am jealous by the way the hospital bed embraced you more than I could have during your lasting moments

I am jealous for the fact that I could not lay next to you each day to ease your pain

I am jealous for I will never be able to hear these words from you again, 

“I am fine and going to be okay.”

I am jealous that when I kissed, hugged and held your hand it was the very last time

I told you, I was sorry for all the pain you had to go through and that I loved you very much until eternity 

I am jealous for I was dragged away from you, as you lay in eternal peace 

all on your own

For how could I leave you, sweet angelic you, forever, even when you lay still forever 

You my dear sweet daring angel will always be my heart; 

I am no longer jealous 

By CFM inspired by Labrinth- Jealous-Single