George Floyd: I Have Seen The Confederate Flags & K.K.K Crosses

Why Am I Greatly Affected By The Killing of George Floyd? 

Photo Credit: The Guardian Nigeria

This blog post serves as an outlet for the intense emotions stirred by witnessing the killing of George Floyd by a racist police man, through the lens of the camera. The shock, numbness, stomachache, and heartache I experienced were overwhelming. As I navigated the stages of grief, tears flowed to release the tension and emotions surrounding this tragic event. I wept not only for George Floyd and his loved ones, but for the collective sense of vulnerability we all share as he could have easily been any one of us.

It's crucial to understand that this isn't the first time I've grappled with such emotions. However, the difference now lies in the proximity – seeing someone fighting for their last breath right before our eyes. Over the years, countless murders of individuals with the same skin color as mine have desensitized me to the ongoing brutality within a deeply rooted, systematic racist U.S. government. Unfortunately, like many, I've grown desensitized to the relentless civilian killings, overwhelmed by a sense of helplessness against a system beyond our control.

For many years, I have witnessed through the camera lens and heard of numerous murders of people who have the same skin color as mine. Too many countless murders and innocent killings have occurred. Growing up in the U.S., news of police shootings, inner-city violence, and racial crimes had become the norm. Yet, witnessing the Confederate flags and KKK crosses firsthand during my upbringing underscored the deeply ingrained culture of hatred and discrimination perpetuated by historical governmental systems.

I have inadvertently been aggrieved and emotionally traumatized too many times to remember through listening to the Radio, T.V. and Social Media (as the latest norm). Through hearing directly from friends who have grown up in deprived areas where gun and gang crime was rampant. 

Such broken systems empower some individuals, even civil servants, to act as judge, jury, and executioner, as evidenced by George Floyd's tragic death. White supremacists, waving Confederate flags and proudly declaring K.K.K affiliations, perpetuate a toxic mindset that enables heinous acts in broad daylight.

I have seen Confederate Flags and K.K.K. Crosses 

It is important for me to let you know that I have seen  Confederate Flag and KKK Crosses as part of my upbringing in the U.S. There were towns which we clearly could not go to or travel through, without being apprehensive of potential harm being caused to us. I believe these symbols and objects all interlink with humankind to part what is broken in the America System including government, financial, health, economy and political systems. It is some of the inherited extreme culture immoral values and irrational radical beliefs behind historical governmental systems and symbolic objects, which are the main issues that have been weaponized to create divisions. Especially, extreme cultural and ingrained hatred of otherness, which have been used to create racial hatred and discrimination.

Ancient Governmental systems created on the premise of divisions intended to oppress, deprive, exclude other people due to the color of their skin, which continue to play out in modern times. These types of systematic divisions have filtered from governmental systems into local communities whereby others especially people of color have been deprived of the same equal services in their communities. Black communities which have been made to feel less than and disadvantaged as government systems have not equally funded them as their counterpart affluent communities to equally contribute in improving black communities. 

There is a long history of a governmental systems which facilitated and supported wealth for most White American People. 

"From at least the Land Act of 1785, Congress sought to transfer wealth to citizens on terms that were quite favorable. In some instances, land could be attained by the luck of the draw — but only if you were a white man." - Market Watch

It is these types of systems which have inheritably made most white people feel this sense of entitlement to land ownership, a sense of belong to a land which was not originally theirs and to feel better than other who have a different skin than theirs. 

It is these types of systems, which have made white people feel more entitled to ask people who are of a different skin color than theirs, where they are originally from or why they are in "their white neighborhoods."

It is these types of broken systems, which have empowered some vicious white people who are paid civil servants to act as though they are the law, including judge and jury. Which has given them the sense of entitlement to kill and torture another human being without a blink of an eye in broad daylight and in front of a camera lens. 

It is these of inhumane systems which have empowered white supremist to believe that they are better than what is different. Enticed them to wave confederate flags, to proudly proclaim themselves K.K.K. and patriots of a land which was not theirs to begin with. 

These systems, rooted in division, have infiltrated modern society, perpetuating racial disparities in local communities. The long-standing governmental policies have favored white Americans, fostering a sense of entitlement and superiority. This entitlement has seeped into everyday interactions, prompting questions like, "Where are you really from?" in predominantly white neighborhoods.

These are some of the main reasons you were sadly and blatantly killed in broad daylight for all of us to see. 

George Floyd, your tragic demise serves as a start reminder of the evils that persist in humanity. I hope your death becomes a catalyst for justice and change, a global reminder that oppression and violence are unacceptable.  A reminder that no one is entitled to oppress, deprive, kill another human, and walk away freely without any legal criminal convictions.

May your soul continue resting powerfully in eternal peace 
George Floyd

 

Photo Credit: Guardian Newspaper

In Loving Memory of You – Mon Petit Ange (Lorraine Matenda) | Transcending Grief & Loss

 

Topic Inspired in Loving Memory of My Mon Petit Ange & Late Sister Lorraine

 

Today began as a beautiful celebration in memory of you, Mon Petit Ange. Despite the joyous start, the day concluded with the familiar deep sadness that accompanies the annual countdown to your birth and death every October and December. It’s as if my mind and body, on autopilot, transport me to relive those days and month we spent together, including the hospital moments leading to your final resting place beneath the earth.

With each passing year, the heartache becomes more manageable, though I held onto the pain as a lingering connection to you. Yet, even as time lessens the intensity, it doesn't erase the repetitive emotional spells of missing and thinking about you or the acute pain of your premature departure. I believed the fading pain in my heart symbolized my mind letting go of our soulful magnetic synergy and connection. The memories, like a recurring movie, vividly play, transporting me to yesterday, where we are the main characters.

Flashing memories take me to the corridors of the hospital, with a primary nurse tearfully saying the final goodbye. I relive the excruciating pain, realizing this was not an ordinary day. The vivid recollection of choosing coffins, seeing you laid in the morgue, and rushing to buy your final burial dress adds to the tapestry of memories. There are moments of breakfast at a lodge, the surreal sight of tubes and machines keeping you alive, and the never-ending days and nights spent by your hospital bed. At this precise moment, a vivid memory emerges of one of the primary nurses who cared for you. She rushes down the corridor, calling out my name in tears, to bid the final goodbye, embracing me tightly, expressing how deeply sorry she was.

Followed by the memory of excruciating physical and emotional pain, which struck suddenly as I realized I was leaving you behind. The pain immobilized me, urging me to cling to the floor or the wall, desperate not to part from you. It was a painful acknowledgment that this wasn't an ordinary day, where we took our regular hospital visit break and returned to see you again.

These are flashing memories of moments when I wasn't physically present, lost in a trance. Vivid recollections of choosing coffins for you in the funeral parlor, a surreal experience that felt both routine and otherworldly. The sharp memory of being summoned to the back room by the Funeral Director to see you. Walking in, I saw you laid bare in the freezing cold on a metal bed. A vivid flash of the lady in the morgue asking how you wanted your hair styled. The moment we hurried to buy your final burial dress before flying back to our ancestral home. There was also a moment, lost in a trance, unaware you were flying with us, enclosed in a coffin beneath us, as we sat comfortably in our plane seats.

These numerous flashbacks include short-lived moments, like the time we spent at the lodge before heading to the hospital. A once-in-a-lifetime moment when we had breakfast together. Life changed the night before you entered the hospital, never to come out again. Vivid memories of you appearing to force yourself to stay awake, driven by the fear of never waking again. Surreal moments when you collapsed just a few doors away from us, only to see you laid on an emergency bed and rushed off by the hospital staff.

Then there are the memories of walking into the Intensive Care Unit for the very first time in my life, witnessing all those tubes and machines plugged into you, working tirelessly to keep you alive. These tubes and machines became familiar, a source of comfort, reassuring me that they were sustaining your life. Countless days and nights were spent sitting next to you in your hospital bed or in the hospital break room, in between meetings with doctors and the hospital management team.

These are just a fraction of the many memories that cross my mind. They are memories that will forever be a part of us—of you and me. These memories, though painful, are an integral part of us, an eternal bond that time cannot unravel. They weave a narrative that binds us together for eternity. 

The pain lessens as I am frequently reminded of your relentless fight to cling to life. It was only your heart that chose to let go, not you giving up. You never surrendered in the battle; instead, you responded to your higher calling from your heavenly father to depart from your physical form and this earthly existence.

Your radiant spirit is eternally imprinted in my heart and soul. Today, I fondly recall you with a glimmer of sunshine and warmth in my heart. The seagulls outside my window seem to dance in celebration of your existence and spiritual essence.

As I sip my coffee, a partial smile graces my face, even though my heart holds a touch of melancholy as it reflects on what once was, on who you once were. I'm reminded of your deep love for life, which is precisely why I now cherish each moment and find internal happiness, knowing how much you valued life and bravely fought to cling to it.

All I see right now is your beautiful smile radiating through me, compelling me to let go of the melancholy within my heart.

All I hear is your infectious laughter, hitting my chest and penetrating through my heart, forcing me to laugh a little without feeling guilty.

All I feel is you cheering me on with your beautiful smile, encouraging me to let go, be free, and express everything I am feeling.

As I sit here, memories of you continue to flash right in front of my eyes. Memories of you borrowing my nail polish, trying on my lip balm, creeping into my bedroom in the middle of the night to sleep next to me, and our late-night chats about everything and nothing at all. Memories of talking to you while you were in boarding school and so much more.

I'm also reminded of the sad memories of us in a foreign land, of you fighting through the toughest battle of your life. Short-lived memories of comforting you until you felt at ease to fall asleep, of you trying to be strong externally while facing the toughest challenge. You taught me a courageous lesson about letting go of anger toward a racist doctor who could have treated you better. This is what made you so angelic—you believed in forgiveness and kindness even toward those who did not treat you the same way.

I treasure the joyous and sad memories we shared, memories that will remain etched in my heart for eternity. As I sit here a few years later, I reflect on our shared memories without you being here physically. Our lifetime together feels like a surrealist painting, a dream, and sometimes a nightmare due to the torment you endured before leaving this earth.

I feel blessed and honored to have been your older sister during our lifetime. Our souls will forever be bonded for eternity, plus infinity. You were and will always be one in a million, a beautiful golden treasure to me—Mon Petit Ange.

You had such a pure, loving, caring, and compassionate heart. You showed us light when there was darkness, and you brought together and united thousands of people from all walks of life across the globe. They saw how pure and giving your heart was, and they fought with you and in your name. We will forever be indebted to the beautiful souls who showed up and supported you.

You had so much to give to people in need and would have given so much more.

You had so much more to conquer in this world and in this lifetime.

These were all my dreams for you and a future that was never meant to be. In your heart of hearts, you knew when it was time to go. You departed quietly in solitude when your mission on earth was complete.

You never gave up and fought with all your strength and might. Although a deadly heart disease afflicted your heart, you never gave up. Your heart aged before its time, and you left way too soon. My heart, though pained, felt at ease knowing you were no longer suffering. It was your time to depart this earth in your physical eternity.

Today, I sit here deeply grateful for the life gifts you left with me. The gift to let go soulfully, to stand still, and release another loved soul. To sit still in solitude and say the words, "If it's your time to go, it's your time to go. It's okay for you to let go and be at peace."

Thank you for giving me the opportunity to connect with you deeply on a spiritual level before your entity left this earth. Even during months of silence when your physical entity was not fully conscious, thank you for allowing me to go deep within myself, reconnect with life's true meaning, rediscover myself, and understand my true purpose in this lifetime.

Thank you for gifting me with the value of life and how not to take it for granted.

Thank you for showing us the toughest life lesson in the disease known as Cardiomyopathy. I hope today you are celebrating a rebirth birthday with your heavenly father, the father you were devoted to and prayed to often.

May your soul resting in eternal peace, Mon Petit Ange – Lorraine Matenda (January 26^th 2015).

Images Credit Arts Connect International

#cardiomyopathy #lorrainematenda #grief #loss 

An Evil Alien Invader Left The White House| Reflecting on Women's 21st January 2017 | Inauguration 2021

 

It all began on January 21, 2017 when we participated in “The Women’s March,” in downtown Washington D.C. The march was a response to the numerous anti-women and offensive statements made by the evil mad alien who, as of today (January 20, 2020), has left our city. 

Our collective demonstration unfolded the day after this evil man's inauguration on January 20, 2017 and continued through his first 100 days in office. At this moment, "evil mad alien intruder," seems fitting as the best way to describe and name him. 

Since then, our days have been saturated with shock, horror, disbelief, emotional and physical torment. We've grappled with feelings of distress, depression, anger, resentment, grief, and anxiety, navigating each day with unpredictability and an overwhelming sense of the unknown. Whether or not we willingly subscribed to this reality, mental impacts have been inevitable, particularly for those with a connection to the U.S. Regardless of our global locations, the impacts and effects have resonated universally.

For four long years, we've carried the weight of emotional torment. Amidst our advocacy for women's rights, we've witnessed heart-wrenching losses as our sisters and brothers fell victim to violence captured by our camera lenses. We've listened to the devastating toll of millions affected, including lives lost to Covid-19, a tragedy exacerbated by the outward negligence of an alien presence once in power.

We've been forced to endure ongoing trauma as extremists with outward hatred commit criminal acts and often walk away freely or with lighter sentences. The systemic bias favoring certain skin colors in the judicial system adds another layer to the injustice we witness. 

Even as we (women) dispersed into our respective cities and countries, resuming our lives, the memories lingered. We will never forget. Our voices, once loud and fervent, may have softened on a global and national scale, but we have not forgotten, nor have we chosen silence. 

Thought our footsteps grew quieter, our resolve remained unwavering as we march on in our respective cities and countries. We persisted in standing up and speaking out for equality and justice for all, emphasizing that 'All Lives Won't Matter Until Black Lives Matter.'

Four years later let’s forget: 

•  91% of Black Women voted for Democratic presidential nominee Joe Biden. 

• 57% women voted for President Biden in 2020. 

• 42% of women still voted in favor of the outgoing administration.

• Injustice in Broad Daylight: We witnessed firsthand what injustice looks like in broad daylight. 

• Sleepless Nights: Let's remember the nights when many of us stayed awake, anxiously wondering if our loved ones were safe. 

• Endless Loss and Grief: Regardless of whether the loss directly touched our families, we collectively endured needless grief and pain. 

• Accountability for the Future: This new administration must prove itself by demonstrating equal justice and ensure that terrorists and their leaders face consequences for criminal acts, rejecting impunity.  

As this troubling figure and evil invader has now left our city (Washington D.C) let’s forget that he will continue to walk amongst us freely, seemingly untouched by the inhumane acts and crimes he has committed. 

The inauguration at least signifies what justice looks like when good triumphs over evil acts. Today showcases that there is still hope for a better tomorrow, proving that goodness can prevail over malevolence.

I hope America transcends the divisions of Democrat or Republican affiliations. May everyone rediscover the path to unity and become a united nation. Let us return to caring, loving, and showing compassion and kindness towards one another, mending any fractures caused by political differences. Stand up against injustice and call it out whenever it surfaces. Together, let's build global nations founded on shared values and mutual respect. 

"Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere. We are caught in an inescapable network of mutuality, tied in a single garment of destiny. Whatever affects one directly, affects all indirectly." - Martin Luther King Jr

“Women are the ones that bear the greatest burden. We are also the ones who nurture societies.” -Leymah Gbowee  On that note Auntie Kamala Harris (no pressure), I hope you will emerge as an active female leader and advocate for women's greater causes that unite us all. Additionally, may you serve as a nurturing forces as we embark on the healing process. 

For now, I am still waiting to fully exhale, unable to breathe until justice is rightfully served and fully realized.

For now, I want to extend heartfelt congratulations to Joe Biden and Kamala Harris. I sincerely hope your path going forward is not too fraught with struggle, considering the immense turmoil you have inherited. 

Lastly, I would like to acknowledge you as a reader or watcher. I value your humane acts - your kindness, empathy, understanding, and care for other human beings. Regardless of your political affiliation, globally, I only care and focus on the compassion and care you you show for others. This includes the love you extend to your country and all its citizens, whilst embracing diversity in background, race, gender, religion and culture. 

At the end of the day, we all bleed the same color. We come into this world alone and we die alone. We go in the similar fashion with no exceptions to the rule.

Love and kindness over hatred is the only answer.

My name is Chiko Matenda, I am a Creative Entrepreneur (Content Creator) and a Fibro Warrior. I am also an existentialist at the core. Everything, I write about is primarily based on my personal perspective and outlook on the world. I grew up in Washington D.C., East Coast, United States. No matter where I am in the world, the U.S. will always be home. 

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