Melancholy

The feeling of waking up like a wounded soldier, only not knowing what that feeling would feel like 

The feeling  of being cut open, without being sedated, only not knowing what that feeling would be like 

The feeling of being buried or drowned alive, only not knowing what that feeling would feel like 

The feeling of being shot for no reason, only not knowing what that feeling would feel like 

This type of feeling- melancholy they call it,  is of a different kind and of a familiar kind

It's like the feeling of waking up with deep pain in the heart, only understanding what it feels like, but not knowing why 

It's like the feeling of deep hurt, which only feels like a feeling one experiences following an extraordinary, or tragic event 

It's the like feeling of the whole world closing in and shutting its door one by one, only your world symbolises the elevator you can longer go in, because of all the sudden it has become smaller than it used to be.

It's like the feeling of fighting for survival, only there is no major battle, only this battle is against oneself. It is the fear and the constant questioning that then becomes ones world 

If I, or will I. If I did, then I could possibly die, or panic. Will I go into that lift or crowd, if I  did then I might faint, or get lost in the madness of the crowd 

It's the feeling that cuts deep and never goes away, with all the wishing in the world 

It's the feeling that takes control and drowns everything else in the world 

It's that feeling that drives the curtains to be drawn the whole day; and the bed or sofa then become comforters for the whole day, and if only the comforters could be permanent  fixtures for life- If only- wishful thinking 

It's the feeling that with WILL & EXTRAORDINARY POWER, one can overcome by embracing the world and all it's absurd madness 

It's the feeling that without a dose of talking out aloud and talking to loved ones; IT  the feeling might just drive you crazy and  never go away 

It's the feeling that when you are in the comfort of true friends, you feel you can let your guard down and just be, or even just cry for no reason, without a need to explain 

It's the feeling of knowing that you are not alone in this world, although it may feel like darkness is of comfort 

It's the feeling that with all your WILL you can ride with IT, the Feeling and still engage in this world, to just get a little dose of light 

It's the feeling that a little escape once in a while is okay; for time to reflect and engage with one self, but for not too long for the world awaits ready to embrace you upon your return 

It's the feelings of realising that you may have woken up feeling like shit only to realise that you are not alone and that the mind numbing and dummying  pain will go away 

It's the feeling that you know you have power to overcome and alcohol or drugs can never be substitutes, for you know they are only temporary measures 

It's the feeling of knowing that you will eventually unravel melancholia only to be confronted with you 

TGIF xoxo 

It's the feeling of the whole closing in and shutting its door one by one, only your world becomes the elevator you can longer go in, because of all the sudden it has become smaller than it used to be.

It's like the feeling of fighting for survival, only there is no major battle, only this battle is against self. It is the fear and the contact questioning that then becomes ones world 

If I, or will I. If I, could possibly die, or panic. Will I go into that lift or crowd, if I might faint or get lost in the madness of the crowd 

It's the feeling that cuts deep and never goes, with all the wishing in the world 

It's the feeling that takes control and drowns everything else in the world 

It's that feeling that drives the curtains to be drawn the whole day, and the bed or sofa then become comforters for the day, and if only they could be for life. Only wishful thinking 

It's the feeling that with will, one can overcome by embracing the world and all it's absurd madness 

It's the feeling that with a dose of talking aloud and talking to loved ones that may drive you crazy can go away 

It's the feeling that when you are in the comfort of true friends, you feel you can let your guard down and just be, or even host cry for no reason, without a need to explain 

It's the feeling of knowing that you are not alone in this world, although it may feel darkness is of comfort 

It's the feeling that with all your will you can ride with and still engage in this world, to just get a little dose of light 

It's the feeling that a little escape once in a while is okay, for time to reflect and engage with one self, but for not too long for the world awaits ready to embrace you upon your return 

It's the feelings of realising that you may have woken up feeling like shit only to realise that you are not alone and that the mind numbing and dummying  pain will go away 

It's the feeling that you know you have power to overcome and alcohol or drugs can never be substitutes, for you know they are only temporary measures 

It's the feeling of knowing that you will eventually unravel melancholia only to be confronted with you 

TGIF xoxo