4 Young Men

For the past couple of weeks, your steps have become closer and closer. Now you walk behind, beside and in front of me I feel you physically and emotionally prompting me and urging me We are in a speechless dialogue Our bloodlines bounds us to eternity I want to echo my emotions externally- but I am paralysed and my tongue is bound. I am stuck motionless Yet something else moves me It's the feeling It's the sensation of the closeness It's the seeing That only draws me much closer to you -... 4 young men There is a playful and cheeky nature to two of you that makes me laugh out loud as I walk to work You the third young man continuously laughs, as your piercing dimples protrude . I am yet again forced to smile as I walk down the street, and laugh with a fitting childhood giggle You the forth young man, attempts to be serious, yet at the same time can't be serious for long I am reminded of your boyish charm and tricks you boasted about during our childhood years Lately you all have walked every footstep I've walked You have followed me and reminded me every time I took a step forward that you were there and ever more present Days and now weeks have gone by Everyday starts the same I want to verbalise what I feel but my tongue is tied Yet I feel you, I visualise your presence I feel you nudging me, promoting me to wake up to you, and your presence, and your reason for being I feel your words and emotions without the need for interpretation I see you I walk with you, as you walk with me I am humbled and chilled, so much so to cause goose pimples to prick through my arms; for I have become astute to your presence You have prompted me to write this script The first prompt consisted of you urging me to no end- you willed me to write and visualise the following: (named people) ........ plus - I LOVE YOU ALL You prompted me again and again to visualise and write - the words I LOVE YOU ALL. I failed yet again to undertake this task on your behalf. Days went by and have gone by..... You still continue to urge me to the fact that you are ever more present than ever and need me to translate a message Now I fall to your will, for I love you ever more plus infinity By undertaking this task, I feel your presence may fade away. For my greed has guided me all the way to hold onto you for as long as I could. By undertaking this task, I am undertaking a great leap of faith You 4 young men are of a great force You have willed me to write and translate this dialogue into something tangible So what next Fred? Mike? Titi? and Edward? Will you continue to walk closely beside, behind and in front of me?

The Day will Come

The day will come when he looks for who to ask for permission The day will come when he finally asks the all important question and I say yes The day will come when I finally walk down the isle The day will come when the audience poses for that special speech The day will come when the DJ stops the music, and nearly announces time for a father and daughter dance The day will come when the song "Dance with my Father Again," is played by the DJ The day will come when the due day is due for the first grandchild The day will come when the grandchild takes their first step The days will come and will pass with many celebrations also filled with a huge void The day will come when I will tell my children about you The day will come when I'll hopefully tell my grandchildren about you The day will come when, I hear your laughter, see your smile, your mannerism in your grandchildren The day will come perhaps when I will be grateful for your existence and never feel cheated that you left this world too soon The day has come when I can truly say this world is not the same without you in it The day has come when I can say love you for life plus infinity The day will come

Now I know why 'Fat Obese' People Exist

I am one of them, or 'classed,' as fat by society I am not about excuses about my being, all I know is that I woke up "fat"one day I class fat as being unable to fit in my clothes I fell asleep and woke to a similar personality but woke up to a different person physically You ask how? .... I must have known right, that my body was changing? Quiet the contrary. Nope I didn't zero, nada, nothing, no clue How could I? For I was me, and remained me, even though bits of my personality changed along the way. Moreover, people around me had not changed their reaction towards me All was well in the world right? Not exactly Some countries would classify weight gain as a status and symbolism of wealth Now in the "Western World," I would be classified as obese by appearance and by the GP's scale Or boy do I wish to be immersed in some Indian or African cultures, or better yet ancient Western culture, when being fat symbolised wealth. Pretty sure I would be adorned and admired Point to this story I have awoken to another me I stood in the mirror all the while and never noticed any change, for I was looking at me Today, I stand in the mirror and all of the sudden do not recognise the body in front of me, or how I got this big ( again my own definition) My clothes no longer fit me I no longer like how I look in the mirror I have insight to the fact that for the past year I lay still and did nothing Nothing else in life mattered Today I matter, so does the body I've morphed in Moral of the story do not judge a book by its cover, there is always a story behind each face

Fighting My Way Back To You

Remember the many late nights into early morning hours we spent in swanky London Town? Painting the town red we would say Off course we were classy and chose the upmarket members night clubs, just because we could Life was about turning up to show up and for some of us, it was about turning up to show off It was all too easy then to wear stiletto healed shoes without a nights worry It was so easy then to wear mini skirts and tight fitting clothes with so much confidence Lets not forget the low cut tops and spaghetti tops that left a little to the imagination. But wait we were classy right? Remember going up escalators and people admiring our long legs including our classy night attire? Remember being twirled around on the dance by a gorgeous French Model, and dancing to the early of the morning? Remember being the centre of attention when we walked into the room and feeling like celebs only for that night? Moreover feeling like the external world could wait until we partied away I remember it all now. Hence the reason of fighting my way back to you I am fighting back and running towards the re-invention of me I am fighting to get you back- my eternal body ( fighting to get back those once gorgeous legs, arms, and stomach back to the surface and to be seem by the world once again) Watch this space: )

My Number has not Changed

My number has not changed Days, Weeks, now Months have passed My number has not changed; only my circumstance has changed You used to dial my number on a daily basis and we would spend hours chatting endlessly about everything and nothing Silences were not awkward, now the long silences and disconnect has become awkward We used to be close, closer at times than our own blood lines My number has not changed; I am still here and now realise your number no longer reflects on mu missed calls list. I have awoken to a phenomenon Even though my number has not changed, I believe you have changed or perhaps I have awoken to the true you I recall a significant moment in your life when I rang you. I was there for you. I listened to your heart breaking story and comforted you until your heart appeased When my heartbreaking moment arrived, guess what-you did not call My number had not changed only you were no longer there, you still are not here Your call never came neither did I feel the urge to reach out, so you could appease my heart as I had yours My number has not changed; our relationship has - as we are no longer best friends

I ASPIRE TO BE YOU

Your strength symbolises many things I aspire to be Your demeanour tells so much more Your stature represents histories unspoken, yet spoken by your ancestors through you You tower over, as Masai's would You skin is olive and smooth; youthful I am reminded everyday of your discipline and respect you give to mind, body, and soul I admire you for your mind Your words alone remind me there is so much more meaning to life and remind me to be thankful of what i have, have had You ease my anxieties when the world becomes complex You remind me. I am and can be free to express myself My words feel safe to flow for I know you will be there to catch me and rescue me with your words of wisdom Oh how I admire your etiquette and approach to life You dedicate yourself to life I am reminded that with you, possibilities in life become actual possibilities and not passing times Your eyes to adventure have opened me up to escapism and free will to be spontaneous and just to be me I am free to pick and pack myself and go to different environments, free to immerse myself in difference, Free and liberated to wake up in a new country without the fear to explore You and you only and your ancestry of being in exisitence, & our blood line has made this possible. The possible and the potential and the actual is ME Therefore I love you more, plus infinity