In Loving Memory of You-DAD

In Loving Memory of You (Dad) – Inspired by Mardi Gras Festivities (3rd March 2014) "Our Father, who art in heaven, Hallowed be thy Name. Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done, On earth as it is in heaven.... For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, for ever and ever..." For the past couple of weeks, this particular prayer has played on my mind repeatedly "Our Father, who art in heaven,"- the beginning struck a chord deep within my inner core Over the past couple of weeks, my mind, body & spirit became zombified. My body and mind become automatised and transitioned beyond my control into a comatose state of the unknown My subconscious controlled and gravitated me towards you, whilst my conscious become mummified/zombified/stupefied unknowingly by my subconscious My awakening moment transpired when my subconscious and conscious state reconnected with me. Reality sunk in. Realisation crept in and jolted me towards a greater awakening - the day was nigh and the day is nigh I awoke to the realisation that the day you departed was well-nigh. I let go. I let my emotions run away with me, in order to feel you near and not so far away As the days drew closer and closer, grief struck and punched me in the gut, heart, soul and mind once more. I didn't expect to feel the same feelings of yesterday, as though it was like today. I had to go along with the emotional ride for I needed to feel you near and not so far. I reverted back momentary to the state of experiencing surrealism rather than realism - for how could it be that YOU are no longer in this world. It's YOU after all - I couldn't comprehend how YOU couldn’t be in this world today and in the now. I still see you and feel you, as my surrealist mind frequently paints memories and interprets our previous conversations Rationalisation at this stage had gone out the window- my selfish tendencies crept in yet again. I magnified you into greatness, into a God like state, into a Super Human Being a "Hero" - who was not meant to die. For why wouldn't I be selfish? - As the realism of death in my surrealist mind didn't exist. IT- reality didn't exist for I had embraced & cuddled up with surrealism Our Father who art in heaven, I am left wondering will year after year be filled with this viscous circle of Realism versus Surrealism??!! In the end, I realise that YOU, nor I, are super special. I realise it was your time, even though it wasn't ours. I realise the experience of surrealism is beyond my control and I am just the passenger *********************************xoxo************************************** "Our Father, who art in heaven, Hallowed be thy Name. Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done, On earth as it is in heaven.... For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, for ever and ever..." Amen. Love you forever more, plus infinity & miss you endlessly - Continue to rest in Eternal Peace Dad